My Musings – Dive
Every Fall, I am inspired by dear Mother Nature to turn inward. To be honest, it always feels like a courtship. I wake up earlier to spend quiet time with myself, I take long walks in the woods with myself, I make myself nourishing soups and hot cups of tea, I carve out more time for the practices that feed my soul – I journal, meditate, and read. It comes at just the right time every year. Over the summer, I start to feel disconnected from myself. I take myself for granted, I overcommit myself. I become a pretty lousy lover of me.
This year, as I prepared to turn inward yet again and woo my own sweet heart, I started receiving messages to dive deep. What does that mean? I wasn’t exactly sure. The thought of diving deep was slightly terrifying for me. I have an unexplainable fear of being underwater. I imagine the crushing weight of it, the inability to breathe, the absence of light, and lets’s not even start with my illogical fear of sharks (those JAWS movies did a number on me). How could diving deep be part of my personal love fest?
I mean I am pretty happy on the surface. I have a loving family, great friends, a supportive community, work that inspires me. Here’s the thing, all of that is easy to love. When I was a little girl, I used to carefully pick through each new box of Lucky Charms, searching for the pink hearts, blue moons, yellow stars, and green clovers. I took the charms and left the rest. That is what I seem to be doing with my personal life as well. It’s time I looked at the rest.
So, I have been asking myself questions like these:
What is the WHY behind my work?
What is holding me back from living the life I want to live?
What is my greatest fear about motherhood?
Why do I still feel that I am not enough?
This month, I am asking some amazing women to join me in answering these same questions. Actually, I am asking some of the bravest, most creative, authentic, bad-ass deep soul divers I could find. I will ask Christy Turlington Burns, founder of Every Mother Counts, to share her lessons from motherhood. I am reaching out to artists, activists, mothers, and daughters. They are sharing their stories of overcoming addiction, eating disorders, and personal fears. They are talking about what breaks their hearts for others and how they break their own sweet hearts. These women are standing bravely on the edge ready to dive right in. They know that in order to love deep, we have to go deep. It’s one thing to stare lovingly into our own eyes; we have to stare lovingly into the very depths of our souls, even some of the dark, seemingly scary places (where we think there might be sharks). I am grateful for each of the women featured in this issue, and I am grateful for you. It is my belief that we are all on this earth to inspire each other to live fully, love wholly, and yes, to dive deep.
Muse On, Amanda
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